Christian.com - Christian Singles

eHarmony is a completely different kind of on-line dating site. We would say that it is truly in a class by itself. This is a site for serious, marriage-minded Christian singles. If you have tried on-line dating sites before, this one is different. We’ll explain…

In many cultures and throughout history, relationships have been arranged by parents or a matchmaker. This is because very often singles, particularly young singles, will make mistakes as they explore the dating world. Have you ever made a mistake in dating? We all have, so don’t worry about the past…but here is the point…while most dating sites let you explore and try to find your own matches on your own (like the other sites we have reviewed here), eHarmony takes a more scientific approach, and the user is not allowed to freely browse through profiles of other singles. Rather, eHarmony works to find a very good match (or maybe the perfect match) for you! How is that possible? It starts with their patented matching system.

The eHarmony Compatability Matching System™ has a U.S. patent and is based upon Dr. Warren’s “29 Dimensions of Compatibility”. These include Spirituality, Family Goals, Self-Concept, Eduction, and more. Your dimensions are determined by the initial profile you must fill out. The profile is worth completing even without the matching service, since it may help you understand yourself a bit more. Once you have completed the profile, you might have between 1 and at most 20 potential matches, and you can step through a guided communication process with one or more of them. And since eHarmony has “more marriages per match” than any other dating service, you are will be will on your way to living “happily ever after.”

Number of Users:	Over 8 million (not all Christian)
Year Founded:	2000
Search Criteria:	Uses patented matching system
Interesting Facts:	Over 6,000 marriages to date
Cost:	$49.95 (1 month); $159.95 (6 months); $299.95 (year)
Free Trial?	Yes – Free Profile and free 7-day trial*

* First timers only- check the site for details. Also, must cancel membership before 7 day free trial ends or your credit card will be charged.

Founded by Christian marriage counselor and psychologist Dr. Neil Clark Warren – yes, he is the one in the T.V. commercials – eHarmony builds upon Dr. Warren’s 35 years of research and practical counseling helping people with marriage and relationship issues. The company really took off in 2001 when it was endorsed by another well-known Christian counselor, Dr. James Dobson, on his popular Focus on the Family radio show. However, desiring to appeal to a broader audience than just conservative evangelical Christians, Dr. Warren distanced himself and eHarmony from Focus on the Family in 2005. That has not slowed the site’s growth or success, but the percentage of Christians on the site has gone down some. The company and website has not, however, deviated from its founding Christian principles, and remains a top on-line dating service for Christian singles.

The T.V. ads will continue, because the company is not slowing down. eHarmony is still privately held, grew faster than any other major dating site in 2005, and raised $110 million in venture capital in late 2004.

The first step is to complete an in-depth personality profile. There are over 400 questions to complete in the personality profile, and it make take an hour or more, but it is important not to rush through it - start when you have a bit of time. This is a very valuable profile even if you don’t become a paying eHarmony member, and it is provided for free.

Only those looking for a long term relationship should use eHarmony, and not everyone that fills out a profile is allowed to use the service (around 12% are not accepted). If you are married, under 21, have more than 3 previous marriages that ended in divorce, interested in a same-sex relationship, or are severely depressed, you will not be accepted. So we would not recommend filling out the profile if one of these things describes your situation.

One concern you might have at this point is that not all of the eHarmony members are Christians. This is a good concern and question. It is very important that Christians date other like-minded Christians. The Bible encourages us to not be “unequally yoked” with unbelievers, and this is especially true with regards to relationships and marriage. Of the on-line services we have reviewed here, only eHarmony is not a Christians-only service. Even though they started out that way and have a Christian founder, they are now marketing to the general population. But because they don’t allow you to browse all of the profiles, and because as a Christian you should only be matched with other Christians, then for you- a Christian single- you should only be connected with other Christian singles. (If you find that is not the case with your use of eHarmony, please let us know.) Therefore, even though it is not a Christians-only site, we do not have a concern recommending eHarmony as one of the top dating services for Christians.

Once the profile is complete, eHarmony will match you up with other members who have taken your same survey and whom are determined to be probable matches for you based up the “29 Dimensions of Compatibility”. You can initiate communication with one or more of your potential matches, and begin a structured process of learning about each other. During this time, you (or the other person) can put the communication on hold or close at any time.

Once the limited communication stages are complete, you can then openly communicate with the other member. Even though eHarmony does a good job narrowing down your probable matches, do NOT throw caution to the wind at this point. You should still use caution with anyone you meet on-line, regardless of where you meet them. Be sure to communicate your Christian values and beliefs. If you only listen to Christian music, what does the other person listen to? Do they like the types of movies that you find offensive? What Christian books have they read? Make sure anyone you get serious about has the same strong Christian faith that you do. And if your faith isn’t that strong or if you are a new believer, just be honest and open about that. It is important to be honest about who you, just as you expect others to be honest about who they are.

Hopefully by this point, you have connected with some potential matches, and since studies have demonstrated that “over 90% of eHarmony couples had marriage quality scores which were above average when compared to couples who had begun their relationships elsewhere” and “eHarmony couples are nearly twice as likely to report that their marriages are “extremely happy” or better verse other recently married couples”…you may just be on your way to a marriage that continues “happily ever after”!

Dr. Warren’s stated goal is to reduce the divorce rate in America to less than 10% (currently estimated to be 40-50%). We like that goal! Divorce not only destroys a marriage, but it ca have lasting, negative effects on children as well. Meanwhile, strong marriages and strong family in America are key foundations of a strong nation.

We also like that eHarmony has started a second section of the website- eHarmony Marriage – to help married couples have better marriages.

We think it is awesome that a Christian marriage counselor and psychologist has built a successful Internet business, made millions of dollars, beat secular dating sites in the marketplace, and helped millions of people - all at the same time! (Inspiring to us because our motivation and prayer is that Christian.com will see similar success, both as a business and more importantly, helping millions of people around the world!)

We liked the free personality profile- worth the time even if you decide not to join as a paying member.

But the best thing about eHarmony is that they do the matching for you! Instead of wasting hours, days or more sifting through profiles on other sites, eHarmony narrows it down for you to a small group of probable matches. Hey, it is a bit like this site…we’ve narrowed down the best on-line Christian dating services for you to save you time and money. If you like that approach, then you’ll love the way eHarmony narrows down your potential matches for you!

This is the most expensive of the dating sites we have reviewed. But with over 6000 marriages between members, the price should be worth it for most serious marriage-minded Christians.

Although we did not experience this, user complaints in the past have included that in “My Matches”, some inactive members are displayed, which is frustrating because they cannot reply to messages (so you found your perfect match, but they quit paying eHarmony so you can’t contact them- now what?). Our suggestion to eHarmony- if you find an inactive person that you want to contact, you can “sponsor” their membership for a month, and get first dibs on contacting them! ?

Christian.com recommends eHarmony for serious, marriage-minded Christians. Take time completing the profile, and be patient (and prayerful) as the system finds matches for you. If you have tried other on-line dating services, understand that eHarmony is not the same.

If you are new to on-line dating, it is not a bad idea to try both eHarmony and one of the other Christian dating services we have recommended at the same time, since they are completely different.

We also recommend that every Christian single complete the free profile to at least learn a little more about themselves and what they are looking for in a soul mate.